Bye, Bye C-Z Cocktail, Hello Recessionista 4 Life

I have not been happy with this blog for quite a while. This is evident in my lack of posts. I've been thinking about what I am really passionate about and I came to the conclusion that it is fashion and writing. I am leaving the C-Z Cocktail for good, but never fear, I have started a new blog at shellfash.blogspot.com. This new blog is all about fashion and how to make the most out of a limited fashion budget. Don't worry, I'll still have my edge.

Goodbye, "C-Z Cocktail, "30 is the new 20" and "Countdown to 30"

Bad Blogger

I have to admit, I have been a horrible blogger, lately. Not quite sure why. Maybe it's just summer and being busy, but I am going to try to be better about blogging. I really don't have an excuse. I am contemplating taking this blog in a completely different direction. We'll see. I am hoping the change of seasons inspires me. Happy Fall! Break out your sweaters and boots!

Who Knew the Post Office Could be so Fun?

The other day I had to go to the Post Office to mail a package. I made sure to avoid my neighborhood Post Office because it is like going to a zoo. There's always a long line, people in line are crabby, it's understaffed, and the workers move just as slow as they please. And why should they move faster? The Post Office pretty much has a monopoly on mailing things by parcel post. I

n order to keep my sanity, I went to the one in the basement of the John Hancock building. I feel like it's one of the city's best kept secrets; no one knows it's there. Plus, it's close to work. The line was really short: two people in line, two people at the counter. I figured I'd be in and out in five minutes. Think again. Try 25 minutes. The customer at the counter was mailing eight large boxes that he hadn't taken the time to tape up or address prior to going to the post office. The Postal worker didn't care. One by one, the man taped the boxes and addressed them. Each time the Postal worker had to grab him a piece of paper to write the address on. He had to look up addresses and mess with the packaging tape. While he was doing this, a line of ten deep had formed. I have to admit, for the first 30 seconds of this scene, I was mad, but I quickly got over it and found the entire thing hilarious. The people behind me failed to see the humor. While Mr. Unprepared taped up boxes, the other customer had about 15 little packages she had to mail. At this point, the woman behind me yelled, "Can't you have him step to the side and finish that? It's taking forever!"

She read my mind. I don't like to yell those things out, since I have sympathy for anyone working with the public. At work on a daily basis, I have customers telling me to do my job and I hate it.

The Postal worker said, "No, I can't. I've already got him in the system. I can't end it now." The women sighed and muttered, "I didn't know that not wrapping packages was an option. I am going to do that next time. " I am sure she will. I imagined her bringing in a huge shopping bag full of bubble wrap, gift wrap, tape, ribbon, and an extremely breakable gift. She would take up an hours worth of time and think nothing of the line. Sort of like Mr. Unprepared.

After the woman with 15 packages was done, an old women was buying three stamps and checking on a package she mailed in 1984 stepped up to the counter. The clerk was very patient with her and helped her the best she could. The line was not pleased. I, on the other hand, was laughing at how funny this situation was. It was better than watching a sitcom. Finally, it was my turn. I almost didn't want the fun to end. As I was leaving, I heard the Postal worker tell Mr. Unprepared that she was going on a break after she was done with him. How I wished I could've hung around to see the looks on the people's faces as she put up her close sign. I am sure a riot ensued. It would've been priceless.

How Not to Win a Girl Over

Tonight I was waiting at the bus stop after work when an early twenty something couple walked over. I have to admit that I love to ease drop on strangers' conversations. It's my entertainment while I wait for my bus to arrive. From the second the guy opened his mouth, I knew I was in for quite the interesting convo. It was so engaging, I almost wish I had a tape recorder or a notebook to record it. From start to finish, it was pure comic gold. Here are the highlights:

Guy: I've been in that store (Ralph Lauren).
Girl: Oh, really? That's cool.

Seriously, does he think that'll win her over? Last time I checked, RL is a public place and everyone can go in there.

Guy: Yeah, I bought a petticoat.
Girl: Huh? I've never heard of that.
Guy: yeah, It's the guy version of a pea coat.

I am seriously not making this up! I don't think I could. Last time I checked a petticoat is a poofy, hoop skirt worn by women underneath a skirt. This guy is soooo brill!

Girl: Hmmm.... I think it's just called a pea coat.
Guy: No, it's a petticoat. Girl's wear pea coats.

This went on and on for about three minutes. Then, he pulled out the most amazing store to shop at for guys. I was soooo impressed:

Guy: Yeah, for a while I was really torn between RL and Express. But, Express won out. RL is kind of old looking.

This was very appalling to me. Ralph Lauren is timeless. Express is overpriced and trendy.

Guy: Yeah, I have to just wear one label at a time. I don't understand how someone can wear an Aero shirt, AE pants, and an RL jacket. I am wearing an Express shirt, jacket, and jeans.

Really? I don't understand how someone can go into Aero or AE, let alone buy clothes from there. During all this, the girl just giggled. Wow. I had a really hard time not saying something. Oooh! You're such a cool guy for shopping at Express. OMG!

Finally, the girl got a word in:

Girl: Three drinks was perfect for me.
Guy: What?
Girl: Yeah, I'm a light weight. Three drinks and a shot is about all I can handle.
Guy: That's weak. I bet you could drink more.
Girl: No, I don't really like to.

To the girl: wow. I am so impressed that you know your limits. A guy should respect that. To the guy, you are such a dumb ass. Which, he proved by this story:

Guy: Yeah, it was such a totally crazy night. I don't remember what happened. I ended up at my sister sorority's house and it was this girl's 19th birthday. I woke up the next morning in the house and didn't know what happened the night before. It was crazy.

Yes, that's a great way to win over a girl. She really wants to hear about your sorority conquests. The guy continued to dig himself deeper into a hole:

Guy: Yeah, one time my bro got really drunk. He went to take a shower to sober up and twenty minutes later, I went in there and he was sitting Indian style with his head in his lap and the shower going. I knew he was faking it.

Uh.... hello? I'm pretty sure he passed out. And I hate the word "bro."

At this point, the bus showed up and I didn't have to listen to the guy's random monologue of stupidity. Part of me really wanted to intervene and tell the girl that this guy isn't worth it! He's a tool. A dumb frat boy. Not once did he ask the girl a question. It was just this weird conversation (if you could call it that) based on really superficial things. I couldn't understand why this girl wanted to listen to such silly things. If it had been me, I would've been out of there when he thought a petticoat was a pea coat. It boggles my mind. The girl struck me as the free spirited girl. Maybe she was just naive. Whatever the case, I wouldn't have tolerated it. At all. I wanted to shake the girl. She could do so much better than this douche bag frat boy. He's not a great catch. I really wanted to talk to this girl in an aside a la Woody Allen and knock some sense into her. I think back to my early twenties, I really hope I was smarter than this. I think I was. Maybe I'm just too cynical, but why would you want to put up with a guy like that? It's just not worth it.

Wireless and Munchies

I am sitting outside in my backyard enjoying the wonderful weather (it's barely 70) and more importantly enjoying the fact that I am on the Interwebs from my backyard!! Woo-hoo! And I am connected my network. Even better. I had forgotten what it was like to actually use my laptop for it's intended purpose: being mobile. For the past couple of months, I had to keep it connected to the cord 'cause it wasn't wireless. Ok. Enough computer chatter.

Lately, I've been starting to notice that I have horrible eating habits. Ok, maybe not horrible, but they are pretty bad. I don't eat an entire bag of Mc Donald's cheeseburgers (the thought of that is so no appealing) and I rarely eat fast food. What are my downfalls? The vending machine at work and ice cream. The vending machine at work has Munchies and Chilli Cheese Fritos. And they are very reasonably priced at 60 cents. It started as a once a week thing, a treat, if you will, and now I find myself having them a couple of times a week. This is not healthy. I tried bringing a can of nuts for a snack, but there were days where I talked myself into Munchies. For those of you who haven't had Munchies, you should try them. It's a mix of Cheddar Sunchips, Nacho Cheese Doritos, and Rold Gold Pretzels. Yum. But, addicting. Actually, don't try them, or you'll be hooked! I am going cold turkey on the vending machine. I guess cold turkey on all junk food. I also really love potato chips. I don't need to have those with my sandwich. The sammie should be enough.

As for ice cream, I love it. It is my favorite treat ever. I blame my family for this. We always had ice cream in the house and had it several times a week. Lately, I've had too many late night ice cream treats. Actually, I am going to try to not eat after 10 pm. That is another downfall. I work weird hours (which I should be used to by now) and sometimes when I close, I'll come home and eat half the fridge (or I feel like I do). Bottom line is I am 31 years old and cannot eat like I could when I was 25. Back then, I could eat anything and not gain an ounce. Not anymore. I don't need to loose a lot of weight, probably 5-10. But eating better would make me healthier and have more energy. Munchies do not give me energy, they really slow me down.

When Fate Takes Over My iPod

Today on my bus ride to work, I was listening to my iPod, like I usually do, when fate took over the shuffle. Right in a row I heard "Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks, "Stronger" by Kanye West. and "Black Swan" by Thom Yorke. To most people, this might just seem like a really eclectic mix of music, but for me these songs were my anthems from last summer. I listened to them constantly. I would sit in my car with the windows rolled down listening to "Black Swan" on repeat. It was pep up song before I went into work. Ok, I know. Thom Yorke as a pep song? It worked for me, though. I was in a really bad place with my job. I felt trapped and these songs brought me comfort. It was odd today how they just popped up in a row on my iPod. I was instantly transported back to last summer and it was like I felt the awful feelings all over again. I felt myself welling with tears, but half way through "Stronger," they stopped. I was feeling really happy. Impressed about where I am a year later. Yeah, I still have bad days, but they are not every day. I don't take my work home with me like I used to back in Minneapolis. Baby steps. It feels good.

My Battle with Parallel Parking

Parallel parking and I have been enemies for the past fourteen years. We don't generally get along. Parallel parking frustrates me and gives me horrible headaches. I guess I should start at the beginning of our long standing hatred. I was sixteen and my dad was teaching me how to drive (I could write a novel on that experience). I kept asking him when was he going to show how to parallel park and he kept making up excuses. When we finally got around to it, I was not allowed to practice it on an actual street with real cars. My dad was nervous that I would hit another car, so we went over to the high school parking lot. The first time we went, my dad had me envision two imaginary cars parked on either side of the space. This ended in disaster. I ended up in a huge argument with my dad about the imaginary cars that I couldn't see. I couldn't see how this was helpful. Maybe for mimes, but not for me. I needed something real, like actual cars. We tried it again a couple of days later, this time using the light poles in the high school parking lot as the pretend cars. This ended with equally bad results. In driver's ed, I was embarrassed every time we practiced parallel parking because I was the worst at it. I finally persuaded my dad to let me practice with real cars, well sort of. His new version involved my mom driving her car over, too, so we could use her car as an actual car! The other car was two construction cones (to this day, I have no idea where my dad found those). This attempt was better than the others, but would've went more smoothly had my dad not have been so paranoid that I would hit my mom's car. I somehow managed to parallel park well enough to get my driver's license. Or perhaps word had spread that my dad used some ridiculous teaching methods for parallel parking and the DMV took pity on me. Whatever the case, for the next fourteen years, I avoided Parallel Parking at all costs. I spent hours circling neighborhoods looking for a parking spot that didn't require parallel parking. When I did attempt it, I felt foolish and often found myself very angry.

Recently, though, I decided I needed to stop being afraid of parallel parking. It has become a little ridiculous to be driving in circles looking for the perfect parking spot. It's quite silly actually. My new plan is to look for a situation to parallel park, instead of the easy spot. Today I managed to parallel park in a small spot in one try. It can be done. With real cars and no damage to other cars. Maybe parallel parking and I can be friends. Or at least not enemies.