(The Blog Formerly Known as "Countdown to 30" and "30 is the New Twenty")

Showing posts with label my Dad's lectures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my Dad's lectures. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Death Wand


My dad has always been a big supporter of safety. As a kid, my dad had a huge list of items/ activities that might end in loss of limbs or a lawsuit. These included sparklers, home pyrotechnics displays, swimming pools (in his backyard), trampolines, pogo sticks, firearms, skate boards, powder puff football, and pumpkin carving with sharp knives. When I was a teenager, he became obsessed with concert safety and fires. After the Great White fire fiasco, my dad was always asking me about my concert going activities and if I learned where the fire exits were located at the venues. Mosh pits were also a frequent inquiry. He wanted to make sure I wasn't a part of them at shows. He was very concerned with the ventilation systems at venues, as well. His Fourth of July fireworks safety lectures are legendary and can be summed up with "leave the fireworks to the professionals. Don't mess around with that crap!" To this very day, I don't know how to operate a chipper shredder or a snow blower because they are dangerous. I had to wait until I was 12 to learn how to operate the riding lawn mower. That was a huge ordeal with lots of lecturing on safety and using the lawn mower only under his supervision until I was 14.


My dad gave me has trusty Weber grill because "he doesn't want to mess around with that" anymore. There was no fire safety lecture or anything. In fact, he bought me an electric fire starter, so I wouldn't have to use lighter fluid. I thought nothing of the electric fire starter because my dad and my grandpa have used them since the beginning of time. I just assumed they had to be safe, since my dad is Captain Safety. My friend, Steve read the back of the package and discovered that the electric fire starter, aka the Execution Wand or Death Wand heats up to 1000 degrees Fahrenheit! That doesn't sound very safe. I was shocked that my dad would use something like that. On top of it, you can't leave it in the grill for longer than 10 minutes because the Death Wand will melt and might cause an explosion. Yikes! I want nothing to do with it. Where do you put the Execution Wand when you remove it from the grill? On the grass or on the concrete or a plastic patio chair or back in the house? Not to mention we would have to run an extension cord from inside the house to the backyard. I could just see my backyard engulfed in flames or someone (probably me) would trip on the Death Wand and take off a layer of skin or lose a foot. Not a good idea. I think I'll stick with lighter fluid and matches. That is at least self contained and doesn't heat up to hell-like temperatures. The only way I would go near the Execution Wand is with a hazmat suit and four Ove-gloves on my hands. It's just not a good idea. The packaging had a warning to keep it away from children. Only kids? How about everyone?
I think my Dad should have to undergo some safety class after using something as dangerous as the Death Wand. Maybe next year for the 4th of July, I'll buy my dad some fireworks, so he can put on his own display. After all, that can't be as hazardous as the Execution Wand.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Back From Vacation


I'm back from my trip to Milwaukee and Chicago. I have to admit it was hard to come back, I had such a good time. I am really not looking forward to going back to work this afternoon. That is going to be a rude awakening. I did have six days in a row off. Which, in my world is unheard of. Anyways, back to the fun. Here's a picture of the roses from my Dad's awesome garden.

I am always so impressed and amazed by my Dad's garden. It takes up a huge portion of his backyard. And requires so much work. The one thing about Milwaukee I will never miss is the lack of quality radio stations. It is seriously the music void of the Midwest. As I was driving into town, I was listening to New Rock 102.1 and they were playing the same stuff I recall from 12 years ago. Not exactly New Rock. More like Old Rock. I heard local Milwaukee fave, the Gufs song "Smile." It was big when I was in high school. And the Offspring. Sigh.

I took the train down to Chicago. It's so affordable. It only cost me $37 round trip. And it only takes an hour and a half. Not, only did I save gas and time, I saved my sanity. I abhor driving in Chicago. I never would've gotten there in an hour and a half. Maybe three and a half hours. My Dad had to leave me with some words of wisdom before dropping me off at the train. "Remember that Chicago isn't like Minneapolis. It's a big city like New York." Oh my gosh! Really? I thought they were the same. I am so not country. And not stupid. I proved my city-savvy by beating out a woman for a cab at the train station. She tried to talk her way into me letting her have my cab because she had been waiting there longer than I. I don't think so.
Anyways, my friend, Steve and I checked out Millennium park, which very cool. And a huge tourist draw, which you can tell by the people surrounding it. I love how modern it is. Yet, it is odd to see something like this in a city.

This is the Bean . Sort of trippy. You can walk underneath it, which is even cooler.



While in Chicago, I did a lot of shopping. The stores there are so much better than here. Even the Old Navy is better. It's bigger and had great displays. It almost didn't look like an Old Navy. Shocking, I know. The highlight, though, had to be the Marc by Marc Jacobs store in Bucktown. I heart Marc Jacobs. His store was really cool. The best part is they carry affordable gifty items that everyone can afford. I bought a rust colored wristlet for only $25. For Marc by Marc Jacobs. This makes up for the fact that I can't afford the super cute dresses that look like Marc designed them with me in mind.

Here is my wristlet, hanging out at the bar (in the safety of the bag). I have to admit that I was pretty obnoxious showing off my bag. But, it's not everyday that I buy Marc Jacobs. The other cool thing is shoes stores carry an awesome selection of sneakers. Tons and tons of unique Nikes, Pumas, and Converse. I did use my restraint and didn't buy any shoes. Woo-hoo. It was hard, though. I love fun sneakers, but really need to wear the ones I have.
All in all, it was a good vacation. I got to hang out with my friend Steve and catch up with my relatives that I haven't seen in a couple of years. The one thing I didn't do is go to Dunkin' Donuts. I saw a really big one with a Baskin Robbins in it, but I wasn't hungry for a donut. Sad, I know.

Monday, June 16, 2008

I Gots the Skillz to Pay the Billz

My Dad's latest kick is that I need to have a "career" and not a "job." Actually, he's been on his "Career" vs. a "Job" soapbox for six months now. A "career" is something that provides you with adult-benefits like a 401K, paid vacation days, and the opportunity to stay with the company until the day you die. A "job" might have some of those adult-benefits, but it's just a job. More than likely you can't stay with your "job" until the day you die. Or if you do, you'd be in the same position as you started. I would like to believe that a job can turn into a career and a career can turn into a job. My theory is I am content as long as I can pay my bills and have a little left over for fun. Also, times are different. It's not 1968 where you stay with a company forever. Frankly, I don't think I could handle that. I am way too restless. In these crappy economic times, I am fortunate to have a job. My Dad means well. I just think a little bit differently than he does.

I only have two days of work at my "job" this week! Woo-hoo! I am going to Milwaukee to visit my Dad and to Chicago to see a friend and my rellies. I am so excited. I haven't taken a trip in several years. I really need a break. Thank goodness my "job" has excellent adult benefits like vacay (Ok, I'll put the sarcasm away).





Sunday, June 15, 2008

Just Walk Away

In honor of Father's Day, I bring you the best of the best of my Dad's lectures. First, I should share, that I my Dad lives for the lecture. When I was younger he imparted lots of good information, but as I got older I noticed that the lectures got less pertenent and more along the lines of "Are you kidding me? Do I look stupid" variety. I know he means well, but seriously pumpkin carving and fireworks safety? I'm already aware of it.

Anyways, the best lecture my Dad ever gave was during the summer of 02'. My cousin, Andrew and I road tripped from Minneapolis to Milwaukee to help my Dad clean out the basement. We were going to Summerfest (this huge music fest along the lake front in Milwaukee) with my friend, Tiff. Before we left, my Dad gave his standard safety lecture, but about half-way through, it took a weird turn. I didn't have any idea where my Dad was going. I thought he was heading towards the dangers of drugs and alcohol lecture, but he skipped right passed that. We stood clueless for a while waiting for the big message. After he rambled for a while he got to his point: if someone bumps into you or spills beer on you, JUST WALK AWAY. So simple. Wise words from Dad. It makes sense. And it can be use for a variety of situations. It was our big joke at Summerfest. To this day, my cousin and I still joke about it. My Dad's proud that one of his lectures were remembered and put to use on a daily basis.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Chicks and Tools


nataliedee.com

This cartoon really made me laugh. It made me think of my dad. Growing up, I always wanted to learn how to use tools and fix cars . My dad's response: "Find a guy to help you." Thanks, dad. Thanks for setting women back 75 years. We really appreciate it. I remember the Christmas I asked for a tool set. My dad wanted to know why I needed that. Uh....to fix things. I am really surprised that I didn't get a pink tool kit. Most of my home improvement skills, I have picked up on my own. It's really good that I'm stubborn. And that my mom taught me how to be feisty and sassy. That helps, too.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Sage Advice from My Dad

Tonight my Dad shared some of his classic Dad advice. He told me to not "mess around with any firecrackers on the 4th." I am such a pyrotechnic. I can't get enough of fireworks. I stocked up on them today at Target, so I could put together my own display on the 4th. Does my Dad realize that I've only played with sparklers about half a dozen times, and I don't mess around with fire? I don't even like playing around with matches. He means well, but seriously, I don't need the 'fireworks are bad' lecture. I just wonder how he comes up with these things. There must have been the traditional 'fireworks are bad' expose on the news. I love that! They show dummies playing with fireworks and starting themselves on fire. It's always a feature on all of the newscasts in WI around the 4th.

Just remember everyone, to avoid playing with fireworks on the 4th, they're dangerous. And the last time I checked, they're illegal in MN.