Writer's Block No More!

For the first time in months, I've actually had the urge to write. I don't know what triggered this, but I am going with it. I've got ideas for several articles and might finish my screenplay by the end of the year. Today I actually set down to write on my top secret project. I am not done with, but I've got a good, solid rough draft and some direction. It feels awesome.

Randomness

Daylight Saving Time is still kicking my ass. Last night I couldn't fall asleep at all! Once I did fall asleep, I kept waking up every couple of hours like a senior citizen. Ugh. It was awful. This morning I had the hardest time getting out of bed and felt like I had been up for three days. So tired of this! I just want to feel normal. Hopefully, this ends soon.

I worked on my screenplay yesterday. I wrote four pages and I planned out the plot. I haven't written any new scenes since December. It feels good. I think I was motivated by "Juno." I am hoping I can keep this up.

It's baaack

It's happening again. I've got a nasty case of writer's block. Argh. I was so excited to have today off. I was planning on writing for most of the day. But, noooo writer's block has to show up and ruin the day. It's not like I don't have ideas, 'cause I've got plenty. I just can't make it happen. I've been staring at my screenplay on my computer screen for an hour and I haven't written a word. Grrrr... I am going to do some dishes and make some coffee. I hope that helps.

Me Write Pretty One Day

The other day I was reflecting back on my early 20's and I realized that somewhere between graduating from college and loosing my job, I lost my love of writing. This had never occurred to me before. It was pretty shocking to work through this. I've been an avid reader and writer since I was little. I was always writing. How do you wrap your finger around something like this? Even in college, I was actively writing. I was one of the "weird" ones who enjoyed writing papers. I even helped my friends write papers. I kept a journal and I freelanced for my college newspaper. I loved creative writing classes and wished I had majored in creative writing instead of English Literature. My senior paper was a screenplay about a bunch of teens who get trapped in a grocery store during a blizzard. The only logical explanation I can come to is my crazy draw to the business world. I loved suits. I wanted to find my spot in corporate America and I somehow decided that the account side of Advertising was where I wanted to be. My love of suits mixed with my Dad's practicality pushed me towards the business world. I suppressed my creative side. I recall my super senior year of college (yes, it took me five years to graduate), a professor asked me what my plans were after college. I said I was going to work in Advertising. She told me that I really should pursue writing. I, of course, didn't listen. I was a naive 22 year old, who thought Advertising was the way to go...the way to make tons and tons of money. That was the beginning of my loss of my love of writing. Looking back, this was the time that my love of writing, should've gotten me through my eight months of unemployment and my decision to go back to school to get an MA in Education. It didn't. I was too hell-bent on finding a job and spending as little money as possible. I was in survival mode.

Four years later, I somehow managed to find my passion for writing. I was back in school and working in retail, where I witnessed several scenes a day that were too ridiculous to not share with others. I was 26 years old working at a big box retailer with a bunch of old woman, who really didn't understand me, and I certainly didn't understand them. This situation practically screamed, "write about me!" With the encouragement of a friend, I decided that a screenplay about retail would be the best thing to write about. That's when my passion for writing returned and it hasn't left. I have the same joy and excitement that I had as a 17 year old co-editor of my school newspaper. In fact, I think the passion is stronger. The past year, I've really decided that writing is what I want to do with my life. I have to have some sort of writing outlet or I go nuts.

Writing truly is what saves me. It's what makes me happy. It's the one thing that I am meant to do.

Hooray for Diablo!

I am so excited for Diablo Cody for her Oscar nominations for "Juno." Especially the one for best original screenplay. That is such a huge accomplishment for a first time screenwriter. It really inspires me with my own writing.

I only wish that the Diablo haters would stop with their hatin'. So what if Diablo isn't really "from" Minneapolis. This is the city where she found her creative stride and really became a writer. How many of them wrote a screenplay in two months? It makes me wonder how many of the haters really are true Minnesotans. Probably not a lot. My guess is they're from the Dakotas or Iowa. I am not a true Minnesotan, either. I grew up in the 'burbs of Chicago and Milwaukee, but I do get excited when a resident of Minnesota does something cool. This is just further proof of the love that Minnesotans have for outsiders. Diablo rocks. She's a great example of a good old American success story. So haters, stop your hatin' and be happy for someone outside of your small social circle and show some love.

Ok. I am done ranting. Congrats Diablo!

Shocking!

For once in my life, I am being practical and productive. This year I didn't make my usual crazy creative resolution of finishing my screenplay, selling it, and making it into a movie in 365 days. OK, so maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but I'm not too far off. The past two years, I've set totally unrealistic creative resolutions that were so unattainable. It's like I'm Walter Mitty and I live in some fantasy world. No more. Even though, it's only 17 days into 2008, I feel like I've done more work on my screenplay and my writing than I have in 2007. Wow. I don't know what caused this change of thinking, but it is awesome. This time I think I can actually keep it up. I think this might be the year I finish this sucker. Here's to no more insane creative resolutions.

Clark and Michael

I am sure that most people have already seen at least some of the episodes, but if you haven't you must watch all ten episodes of "Clark and Michael." It is seriously one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. It stars Michael Cerra and his bf Clark Duke and the quest they embark on trying to get their show sold to a network. It works on so many different levels. I like it on the level that they are struggling writers, but it also works from a purely comedic standpoint, too. It's smart funny. When I was finished watching all ten episodes, I wished there was ten more.

Screenplay Inspiration

Inspiration hits me at odd times. Last night I was browsing You Tube and I found lots of videos of people trashing department stores on Black Friday and other crazy sales. It was hilarious. Shoppers waiting outside in herds, pushing and shoving to get to the good deals, women ripping garments out of other shoppers hands,and the empty fixtures after the pillaging. The later was my favorite image. It was amazing how in 2 minutes and thirty second how much destruction occurred. I definitely want some crazy scene like these in my screenplay. It was really funny to watch people turn into animals and go nuts for shirt. Plus, these crazy moments fit with what I am trying to accomplish in my screenplay. I want to evoke this feeling of comedy to point of drama. There was a Wal-Mart video where a women is trampled by the crowd. She ends up having to go to the hospital (as a side note, I don't think she was seriously injured). I found this hysterical. I was practically rolling on the floor laughing. Which is horrible, I know, but I couldn't hold it back. Here's this women at Wal-Mart at 4 O'clock in the morning and she's trampled waiting to buy a $10 DVD player. That is comedy to the point of drama. It's sad that she's hurt, but funny given the circumstances.

I love how inspiration hits me. The past two days I took a break from my screenplay, but now I feel like I've got an arsenal of scenes.

What's Wrong with People?

Today I went to Caribou to work on my screenplay. I feel like I should've just stayed home. The first tip off was a girl wearing her slippers in public. Ew. That is so gross to me on so many different levels. Not to mention a major fashion don't. Later on, I felt like someone was staring me down. I looked up and a hipster was staring me down for my table. I was polite and sat at the little two seater table and not the big four person table. I had every right to sit at that table. I went back to my script and she continued to bore holes in my head until another table opened up. She made her boyfriend run for the table and claim it before the people at that table had a chance to move. Seriously. It's a table, not a life or death situation. People like that make me crabby. Especially at a coffee shop that supposed to be a laid-back place. Grrr....

As for my screenplay, it's stuck towards the end of the first act. Ugh. I can't get into the second act. At all. Grrr... I don't force myself to write, so if I'm not feeling it, I stop writing.

What I Did on My Winter Vacation, Part 1

For the first time in weeks, maybe months, I actually feel well-rested and I've worked on my screenplay. My creativity is back. This time around, the screenplay actually feels like it's going somewhere. I've just spent the past two hours working on it. I needed a break, though. I'm a little stuck with a scene. It feels good.

What else have I done today? I made some Pumpkin bread. I've been a little obsessed with Starbucks Pumpkin loaf since Halloween. I decided to make my own. It's not as a good, but it'll do.

My Trick to Surviving the Holidays

For the first time in five years, I feel like I'll make it through the holiday retail season without arriving at the grandparents ready for the holidays to be over with and ready to go retail on the next person who asks me for a gift receipt. My secret? I have a lot of vacation time that I need to use up before the end of the year. Hooray! That will be my savior.

I can already feel the Holiday spirit being sucked out of me by ungrateful people. It's taken all my strength to be nice to customers and to hold back my sassiness. I just hate how commerical the Holidays are and how people get bent out of shape over trivial things like not having a sweater for grandma in her size or a gift box that doesn't fit the socks for sister. As a nation, we've lost sight of what is important. One of my first retail seasons, I recall this middle aged woman yelling at me because she could only get instore credit for grandma's gift. Poor, poor grandma had taken the time to get nice socks, underwear and a pair of jeans for her grandson. The middle -aged woman didn't see this. She just saw how out of touch grandma was because she didn't know that they didn't shop at JCP. WOW. How ungrateful can you be? I envisioned a nice, sweet little old lady going to JCP to buy her grandson something he could use. She put lots of thought into this gift. Plus, there are kids out there that need these basic items. I unleashed my attitude on the middle-aged woman and told her that all I could do was give her instore credit and maybe she needs to tell grandma that they don't like JCP. I also challenged the woman that there has to be something in the store that she would like/use. She left in huff and went to find my manager.

I just don't get it. I hate how greedy people are. That is why I am glad I have vacation to use. It will save my sanity. And it gives me six days of working on my screenplay. I am hoping to have a super, super rough draft of "the Fashion Void 2.0." Did I mention I can do some reading for fun? That's on the agenda as well.

The Breakthrough

No, I am not going to blog about Mary J. Blige's album, "the Breakthrough;" (although, it is a good cd) I had a breakthrough with my screenplay today! For the first time in months I worked on it and I feel like it's moving in a direction that is workable and more realistic for me. I don't know what inspired me, but I am hoping I can keep up the momentum. I spent about an hour working on it and it has a completely different direction and focus. I've got rough ideas for the three acts. So excited. For the past three years, this has been the one project that has helped me to keep my sanity. It was really stressing me out that I had this huge writer's block that I couldn't kick. And that is not what writing should be. It's my therapy. It's what makes me happy. Hopefully, I can continue this momentum.

An ugly, ugly rut

Lately I've gotten into a bit of a rut. I go to work and come home and that's about all I do. I've been working quite a bit lately and that seems to have zapped all of my creative juices. My screenplay? I haven't looked at it in months. This has made me incredibly restless. I need some sort of change. I need to find a way to write again. Aside from blogging, I haven't done any writing. Writing is truly what I love to do. I've always done it. Ever since I can remember. I need to find some way to have an outlet for my writing. I would love to do freelance writing for a magazine. I've been looking for something like this, but I haven't found much. I feel like I've lost my passion for writing. I wish I could go back to my college years. I had so much passion for writing and I was still a bit of dreamer. Now, I find myself being way more practical. Almost too practical. -SIGH- I need to get myself out of this funk.

Writing Exercise

I've been having a horribly hard time working on my screenplay lately. I don't know what it is, but I haven't been able to even write a sentence. Well, last night, I made an attempt to break the writer's block cycle. I went through my old journals and wrote down ideas for scenes. It made me feel a lot better. It was kind of funny to read what I wrote three and a half years ago. I did such a good job being honest and not sugar coating anything. It was all there-- anger, happiness, frustration, etc. I almost felt like I was reading a stranger's journal. I am such a different person than I was back then. I definitely think it will help with my main character. I am so glad that I used to journal everyday. I am feeling a lot more at ease with my screenplay. I am in a much better spot with it .

The Ah-ha Moment of the Day

Today while defusing my hair, I had a the best idea for my screenplay: I need to change the p.o.v. / story telling method. Right now it's some sort of ensemble comedy that is sort of focused on the main character. Well, it's all about to change. It is going to be told through Sarah's perspective- with voice over. Maybe even tying in something with her thesis that she's working on is what we see. Or she's reflecting on the past a la "the Wonder Years." I've been stuck on page 59 for months and something has got to change. I am hoping to work on it this weekend.

Revenge of the Writer's Block

It's back. Just when I think I'm in the clear, it hits me. ARGH. Yesterday I was so ready to work on my screenplay and I just felt so trapped by it. It is very hard to explain. I wanted to come up with a three act structure. I've got Act I down, but it's II and III that need help. I guess I really need to just come up with an outline of some sort. I've got an ending in my head, but I'm not sure that I like it. I just don't know how I want it to end. I don't want the super happy ending--that doesn't fit with the story.

Part of my problem is I've been working with this story for two years. A lot has happened to me in two years. I am not the same person I was when I started writing. I'm having a hard time getting back into the head of old Michelle. I'm not sure how I can do that. I do really want to reflect this change somehow in the screenplay.

-SIGH- I guess for now, I am embracing my writer's block. My next day off I need to leave my apartment and head to Dunn Bros to see if I can't end my writer's block.

El fin to Permanent Writer's Block

For the past couple of months, I have felt like I am suffering from permanent writer's block with my screenplay. It's horrible. I want to finish it, but it seems like this hopeless train wreck. The was a fleeting moment a couple of months ago when I honestly thought I would never finish it. I felt like such a failure. This indescribable feeling of crappiness.

All of that is over! Lately, though, I have felt more motivated to work and finish my screenplay. I don't know what made that happen, but I will not be over thinking it. Maybe I have more angst. The bad, evil thoughts are back in my head. Whatever it is, I am going with it. It's a lot better than nothing. I am taking this new found interest in my screenplay and putting it towards constructing an actual plot. I have to stop just writing these scenes. I am coming up with a timeline. I think that will help. As abstract as I can be, I do need to some sort of planning. I need to just write without editing as a I go. I need to give myself more time. Hopefully, this will get better results. It just has to. My current method of just writing stinks.

I am still so serious about this. My screenplay is not another silly pipe dream a la my childhood when I had all these projects that I abandoned. I will finish it. I must.

Customers First

This lunch bag makes me laugh every time I look at it. Catherine found it for me at the Unique Thrift store. I have never used it as an actual lunch bag, but it will find it's way into my screenplay. It reminds me of my days at the Department Store. They were big on programs that were nothing but hot air, but I guess the big wigs felt like they were making a difference. I could just see them coming up with the big plan: We unveil our 'Customers First' program by giving away lunch bags to our employees. Because nothing makes people happier than a vinyl lunch bag. In fact, it can help to erase low wages and poor working conditions. Once our employees are happy, they will have no problem putting the customer first! Ta-dah! All of our problems are solved with a little plastic lunch bag that was cheap to mass produce. The best part of all of this was how no one really bought into it. Within a year or so, they were onto a new and improved plan that was filled with more of the same bs, but recycled into a new package. I am so glad I no longer have to deal with this. Although it does provide inspiration for my screenplay.

I haven't actually had a chance to sit down and work on my screenplay, but I have been working things out in my head. I am a bit of an incubator. I plan things out before I sit down to write. It works the best for me. I used this technique a lot in graduate school. I could be at work and working on a paper at the same time. When I finally got around to working on the paper, it took half the time to write. I only wish I learned how to do this earlier. I am hoping to spend a good chunk of time on it this weekend. I've got new situations, new characters, and lots of attitude. Most importantly, I actually feel like working on it.