What Not to Wear: the Home Game

In honor of the New Year's Resolutions, I bring you, "What Not to Wear: the Home Game." I think everyone needs to do this at least once a year. Maybe more Even if you have good fashion sense, you still need to purge your closet. My closet was so full, I didn't think I could I fit another article of clothing in it. I know, I know. I do work in retail and I can never pass up a good deal. After 5.5 years of retail, I accumulated a lot of interesting articles of clothing. I also have a hard time parting with some of my favorite articles of clothing--even though I know I will never wear them. The key to playing "What Not to Wear: the At Home Game" is to be in the right mood to get rid of stuff. And a really honest friend, who can tell you that you're never, ever going to wear the ugly pink and grey herringbone blazer even though you only paid $5.82 for it (yes, I really did have that lurking in my closet). With my friend, Steve's help, we what not to weared my closet and filled four big bags of clothes and shoes.

I really like the brown fairisle poncho peaking out of the red bag. That was such a great purchase. I never wore it. I was planning on wearing it as a skirt over jeans. Yikes.

I am so excited to start the new year with a well-organized, room to grow closet. My fashion resolution for 2008 is need to stop buying crazy patterned shirts. More solids.

If only I could have the $5000 Bank of America card to fill my closet with more clothing.

New Shoes!

Aren't these just the coolest sneakers ever? They really take me back to when I was 12. I was a bit of tomboy and loved Nikes. I had a pair of navy and grey ones for basketball. I loved those shoes. In 8th grade, I saved my baby-sitting money to buy myself a pair of black and red Air Jordans for basketball even though my dad assured me that the shoes would not help my game. I recall being a total trend setter of the middle school set. None of the other girls wore boys shoes. I took a fair amount of flack for it, but looking back it was one of the first times I took a fashion risk and didn't care what others thought. I just loved my shoes. Yesterday I was so excited to find the perfect NIkes that make me excited and happy like I felt when I was a preteen. I found them at Journey's (of all places). A perfect use of my Christmas money from my grandparents. I can't wait to wear them. They're a nice change from my chucks. So pretty, yet very tough.

Nevermind

Gilda Radner played a little girl on "SNL" who always was doing something she shouldn't be doing like running around her bedroom. Whenever her mom asked her what she was doing she'd reply "never mind." The other day I totally had a "never mind" moment. I somehow got into my head that I wanted a Chloe purse. It was a random thought. The more I thought about it, I decided I really wanted and deserved a beautiful, leather Chloe purse. A Chloe purse is sort of fun, yet timeless and classic. The Chloe website only had pictures no prices, which lead to me using my imagination and guessing what the purse cost. I'm a good shopper, I have to be close. Wrong! I pegged the one I liked at $300. After doing more research, I discovered that it cost $2000. Never mind. No Chloe purse for me. Seriously, I should know better. I am, however, going to look for them at thrift stores. You never know.

A Very Special White Trash Moment at the Mall

Yesterday at work I happened upon one of the funniest white trash family moments that I've stumbled upon in a long time: a woman pushing a Marshall's shopping cart (not in Marshall's) with three rugrats in it. Wow. Seriously. How did they get the cart out of Marshall's without the alarm going off? The kids were totally out of control; crawling all over the cart and shoving french fries into their mouths and wiping their greasy fingers on each other, all while mommy and her friend shopped. Of course, they didn't pay any attention to the kids until one of the kids hit the other and screaming ensued. Then it was the typical white trash response of "shut up!" That always works. Being the seasoned retail veteran that I am, it really takes a lot to shock me, and this scene made me want to go laugh in the corner and I felt appalled at the same time. I just don't get people. At the same time, whenever I see something like this, I can't help watch them like a bunch of animals in the zoo. It just looked so tacky and trashy and very Brittney Spears to see this woman with the shopping cart. It was classy. Klassy with a K.

I Heart Flossing

Today I had my six month cleaning at the dentist. Given my lovely luck with my teeth, I was anticipating a mouth full of cavities. Guess what? All of my extra flossing and brushing has paid off. Woo-hoo! I am so excited. I have to admit, that I've been more cautious of eating and drinking bad stuff like sugar. For once, it's paid off. It's the best Christmas present ever!

TV That Sucks Me In

Why is it that no matter how many times I've seen an episode of a show, I'll always get sucked into it? The other day I caught an episode of "The OC" on the SOAP net. It was from the first season. I've seen the episode probably half a dozen times an I even own the season on DVD. I still sat there and watched it like I'd never seen it before. I got sucked in because it was an episode with Anna in it. I loved Anna. She was so smart and had great fashion sense. Plus, it was the one where Oliver goes all crazy and holds Marissa hostage. Awww.... I miss "The OC."

Screenplay Inspiration

Inspiration hits me at odd times. Last night I was browsing You Tube and I found lots of videos of people trashing department stores on Black Friday and other crazy sales. It was hilarious. Shoppers waiting outside in herds, pushing and shoving to get to the good deals, women ripping garments out of other shoppers hands,and the empty fixtures after the pillaging. The later was my favorite image. It was amazing how in 2 minutes and thirty second how much destruction occurred. I definitely want some crazy scene like these in my screenplay. It was really funny to watch people turn into animals and go nuts for shirt. Plus, these crazy moments fit with what I am trying to accomplish in my screenplay. I want to evoke this feeling of comedy to point of drama. There was a Wal-Mart video where a women is trampled by the crowd. She ends up having to go to the hospital (as a side note, I don't think she was seriously injured). I found this hysterical. I was practically rolling on the floor laughing. Which is horrible, I know, but I couldn't hold it back. Here's this women at Wal-Mart at 4 O'clock in the morning and she's trampled waiting to buy a $10 DVD player. That is comedy to the point of drama. It's sad that she's hurt, but funny given the circumstances.

I love how inspiration hits me. The past two days I took a break from my screenplay, but now I feel like I've got an arsenal of scenes.

What's Wrong with People?

Today I went to Caribou to work on my screenplay. I feel like I should've just stayed home. The first tip off was a girl wearing her slippers in public. Ew. That is so gross to me on so many different levels. Not to mention a major fashion don't. Later on, I felt like someone was staring me down. I looked up and a hipster was staring me down for my table. I was polite and sat at the little two seater table and not the big four person table. I had every right to sit at that table. I went back to my script and she continued to bore holes in my head until another table opened up. She made her boyfriend run for the table and claim it before the people at that table had a chance to move. Seriously. It's a table, not a life or death situation. People like that make me crabby. Especially at a coffee shop that supposed to be a laid-back place. Grrr....

As for my screenplay, it's stuck towards the end of the first act. Ugh. I can't get into the second act. At all. Grrr... I don't force myself to write, so if I'm not feeling it, I stop writing.

I Heart Free Coffee

My dad sent me a gift card to Caribou Coffee to help me get through the retail craziness. I love when he does this. It's nice to be able to treat myself to a latte instead of a plain coffee. Today I stopped by a Caribou while I was out running errands. The barista was such a Grinch. She made a comment about how everyone is using Christmas gift cards early and how people can't even wait for Christmas. I muttered something about how it wasn't for Christmas. It is none of her business if I want to use a gift card on December 13th or March 22nd. She should simply be happy for the sale. It sort of put a damper on my free latte experience.

What I Did on My Winter Vacation, Part 1

For the first time in weeks, maybe months, I actually feel well-rested and I've worked on my screenplay. My creativity is back. This time around, the screenplay actually feels like it's going somewhere. I've just spent the past two hours working on it. I needed a break, though. I'm a little stuck with a scene. It feels good.

What else have I done today? I made some Pumpkin bread. I've been a little obsessed with Starbucks Pumpkin loaf since Halloween. I decided to make my own. It's not as a good, but it'll do.

Almost There

After today, my time will me my time for almost a week. Wow. So unheard of. I almost don't know what to do with myself. I will manage, though. I am in such a good mood today--nothing can ruin my good mood. Not even stupid people or the parking ramp at work.

Gloves are better than Mittens for Driving

Today was one of those days where I really wished the Black Hole of Death aka the Mall of America had special parking for employees. I don't think it's fair that I have to risk my life with the idiots to find a parking spot. People seem to forgot how to drive and be courteous. It's like turning into the parking ramp sucks all the common sense out of their brains. Although, I sometimes question if they have it to begin with. In order to save my sanity and to arrive at work in a timely fashion, I always allot more than enough time to find a parking spot and get to work. I have discovered that it is just easier and I am less stressed out. I've got it down to a science. I usually circle the first level a couple of times before I give up and go up to another level-- sometimes the roof or sometimes screaming and parking in the over flow lot at IKEA. Ninety-nine percent of the time I find a spot on the first floor. Today was of the one percent variety. Why? Because people are rude and morons. After circling for about five minutes, I saw an open spot in the next row. I quickly drove over there and put my signal on when I saw this big SUV driving about 40 miles an hour and aced me out of the parking spot. How rude! Of course, it was some white trash suburban mom with nothing better to do than shop. I didn't try to go for the spot because an SUV will always beat my tiny Focus. This really annoyed me. I was clearly there first. All I wanted to do was park my car and go to work. I continued circling the wagons. Next up a car was blocking the main lane to the aisles because they were waiting for a parking spot. This resulted in lots of horn honking. You don't block an aisle! DUH! That was minor compared to what happened next. I was going down a main aisle when a car turned out of no where and narrowly missed hitting my car. All I could do was lay on my horn and pray. There was no way I could even swerve out of they way because I'd hit a parked car or a cement pole. The guy was not paying attention because he was on his cell phone. I doubt he even realized what happened. The guy behind him sure did. He laughed at my reaction to the situation. I flipped him off with my glove covered finger. Glad I didn't wear my mittens, like I usually do. Of course, that wouldn't stop me from flipping someone off. He would've gotten an angry mitten. I just don't get why he felt the need to point and laugh. It's not funny that I was almost in an accident. Not funny at all. It was at this point that I gave up on the first floor and drove up to the second where I quickly found a spot in the second row. I immediately ran to buy myself a cup of coffee to calm my rage. All I wanted to do was go to work. Is that too much to ask?

I really hate people and I hate the holidays.

My Trick to Surviving the Holidays

For the first time in five years, I feel like I'll make it through the holiday retail season without arriving at the grandparents ready for the holidays to be over with and ready to go retail on the next person who asks me for a gift receipt. My secret? I have a lot of vacation time that I need to use up before the end of the year. Hooray! That will be my savior.

I can already feel the Holiday spirit being sucked out of me by ungrateful people. It's taken all my strength to be nice to customers and to hold back my sassiness. I just hate how commerical the Holidays are and how people get bent out of shape over trivial things like not having a sweater for grandma in her size or a gift box that doesn't fit the socks for sister. As a nation, we've lost sight of what is important. One of my first retail seasons, I recall this middle aged woman yelling at me because she could only get instore credit for grandma's gift. Poor, poor grandma had taken the time to get nice socks, underwear and a pair of jeans for her grandson. The middle -aged woman didn't see this. She just saw how out of touch grandma was because she didn't know that they didn't shop at JCP. WOW. How ungrateful can you be? I envisioned a nice, sweet little old lady going to JCP to buy her grandson something he could use. She put lots of thought into this gift. Plus, there are kids out there that need these basic items. I unleashed my attitude on the middle-aged woman and told her that all I could do was give her instore credit and maybe she needs to tell grandma that they don't like JCP. I also challenged the woman that there has to be something in the store that she would like/use. She left in huff and went to find my manager.

I just don't get it. I hate how greedy people are. That is why I am glad I have vacation to use. It will save my sanity. And it gives me six days of working on my screenplay. I am hoping to have a super, super rough draft of "the Fashion Void 2.0." Did I mention I can do some reading for fun? That's on the agenda as well.